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roddy-bg My name is Radostina Georgieva, "Roddy".
I live in California.
I enjoy travelling, reading books, listening to music, going to the movies.
I am constantly looking for ways to challenge myself, learn, and grow.

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"Margrat has given birth to a daughter and wants Esme Weatherwax to be the godmother. But life never goes smoothly. For a start, Granny has vanished off somewhere, possibly in a huff, and even worse the kingdom has been invaded by vampires with modern ideas. There are Vampires who have slowly acclimatized to all the sorts of things one usually uses to kill a vampire - holy water, garlic, daylight... Can the newly-formed coven of Agnes/Perdita Nitt, Magrat Garlick and Nanny Ogg defeat the vampires, even with the help of Om proselytizer Mightily Oats? Or should Magrat just agree to be bitten and stab the vampires in the middle of the night?"
"Terry Pratchet" by Andrew M Butler

Targets
Vampire narratives and folklore about witches.

They lined up and looked down into the new place and then, weapons waving, raised a battle cry. It would have been more impressive if they'd agreed on one before, but as it was it sounded as though every single small warrior had a battle cry of his very own and would fight anyone who tried to take it away from him.

***

Count Magpyr: "Igor! On to Lancre!"
Igor: "Yeth, marthter."
Count Magpyr: "Oh, for the last time, man ... is that any way to talk?"
Igor: "It'th the only way I know, marthter."

***

Those who are inclined to casual cruelty say that inside a fat girl is a thin girl and a lot of chocolate.

***

Lancre people looked after the calories and let the vitamins go hang.

***

...the Lancrastrian idea of posh sanitation was a non-slippery path to the privy and a mail-order catalogue with really soft pages.

***

"I name you ... Esmeralda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre!"

***

"His full name is James What The Hell's That Cow Doing In Here Poorchick," said Magrat. "That was a very strange day, I do remember that," said Nanny.

***

"So I've got to take Esmerelda out to her people and tell them one of her middle names is Note Spelling?" said Verence. "Well, we did once have a king called My God He's Heavy the First," said Nanny.

***

The only sensible way to hold a conversation with Igor was when you had an umbrella.

***

People often got the wrong idea about Nanny Ogg, and she took care to see that they did.

***

Nanny's face was a picture, possibly painted by an artist with a very strange sense of humour.

***

Mightily Oats: "Er ... you don't like me very much, do you?" Agnes: "I've hardly met you." Mightily Oats: "A lot of people don't like me as soon as they've met me." Agnes: "I suppose that saves time."

***

All that stuff about birds hatching from ashes must have been written by someone who didn't know anything about birds. As for there only ever being one phoenix, well, that'd obviously been written down by a man who ought to get out in the fresh air more and meet some ladies.

***

The young priest took the baby nervously, holding it, as some men do, as if it would break or at least explode.

***

"You've got -- bits of people stored on ice?" said Nanny, horrified. "Bits of strange people? Chopped up? I'm not taking another step!"
Now Igor looked horrified.
"Not thtrangerth," he said. "Family."
"You chopped up your family?" Nanny backed away.
Igor waved his hands frantically.
"It's a tradithion!" he said. "Every Igor leaveth hith body to the family! Why wathte good organth? Look at my Uncle Igor, he died of buffaloeth, tho there wath a perfectly good heart and thome kidneyth going begging, pluth he'd thtill got Grandad'th handth and they were damn good handth, let me tell you."

-- Organ donor program, Discworld style

***

"Sorry, are you telling us you do surgery on yourself?" said Magrat.
"It'th not hard when you know what you're doing. Thometimeth you need a mirror, of courth, and it helpth if thomeone can put a finger on the knotth."
"Isn't it painful?"
"Oh, no. I alwayth tell them to take it away jutht before I pull the thtring tight."

***

[The church] had replaced swords with sermons, which at least caused fewer deaths except in the case of the really very long ones...

***

Igor had two thumbs on his right hand. If something was useful, he always said, you may as well add another.

***

The second casualty in the battle for the castle was Vargo, a lank young man who actually became a vampire because he thought he'd meet interesting girls, or any girls at all, and had been told he looked good in black. And then he'd found that a vampire's interests always centre, sooner or later, on the next meal, and hitherto he'd never really thought of the neck as the most interesting organ a girl could have.

***

"Oh, this is Igor," said Nanny. "A man of many parts."

***

Magrat grabbed the baby and stepped backwards, her other hand raised.
"You come near me and I'll stab you with this!" she shouted.
"It's a teddybear," said the Count. "I'm afraid it wouldn't work, even if you sharpened it."

***

"Oh, don't blame yourself, Mrs. Ogg. I'm sure others will do that for you--"

***

Jason Ogg was very big and very strong and, therefore, not a violent man, because he did not need to be. Sometimes he was summoned down to the pub to sort out the more serious fights, which he usually did by picking up both contestants and holding them apart until they stopped struggling. If that didn't work, he'd bang them together a few times, in as friendly a way as possible.

***

"Well, be seeing you, Igor. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do."

***